Young people are struggling — and they need us to notice
Rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation among young people have risen sharply over the past decade. Social media, academic pressure, economic uncertainty, the pandemic’s aftermath, and a rapidly changing world have created a perfect storm for young mental health.
As a parent or carer, you do not need to become a therapist. But you do need to be present, observant, and willing to have uncomfortable conversations. Your role is irreplaceable.
Warning signs to watch for
Changes in behaviour are often the earliest indicators that a young person is struggling:
- Withdrawal: Spending significantly more time alone, avoiding friends, dropping out of activities they used to enjoy
- Mood changes: Persistent sadness, irritability, anger, emotional volatility, or emotional flatness that is out of character
- Sleep disruption: Sleeping far too much or too little, difficulty falling asleep, nightmares
- Academic decline: Sudden drop in grades, loss of motivation, difficulty concentrating, increased absenteeism
- Physical complaints: Frequent headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, or unexplained aches that may be somatised emotional distress
- Changes in eating: Eating significantly more or less, obsessive calorie counting, secretive eating patterns
- Self-harm: Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises, wearing long sleeves in warm weather, or expressions of self-hatred
- Risk-taking: Increased substance use, reckless behaviour, or disregard for personal safety
- Expressions of hopelessness: Statements like “I do not see the point,” “Things would be better without me,” or “I wish I could just disappear”
Important: If your child expresses suicidal thoughts, take it seriously every time. Ask directly: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Asking does not plant the idea — it opens the door to help.
How to start the conversation
Choose the right moment
Side-by-side conversations (in the car, on a walk, washing dishes together) are often easier than face-to-face sit-downs. Reduce the pressure by making it conversational, not interrogative.
Use open-ended questions
- “I have noticed you seem a bit different lately. Is anything going on?”
- “How is everything really going — not just school, but with your friends and how you are feeling?”
- “Is there anything you are worrying about that you might want to talk through?”
Listen without rushing to fix
Your instinct will be to solve the problem. Resist it — at least initially. What young people need first is to feel heard. Reflect what they say: “That sounds really stressful.” “I can see why that would make you upset.” Validation before solutions.
Normalise help-seeking
Talking openly about mental health at home — including your own struggles — reduces stigma and makes it safer for young people to ask for help. Model the behaviour you want to see.
When to seek professional help
Seek professional support if:
- Symptoms have persisted for more than two weeks and are not improving
- Your child’s functioning at school, home, or socially is significantly impaired
- There is any mention or indication of self-harm or suicidal ideation
- Your child is using substances to cope
- You feel out of your depth — which is a sign of a caring parent, not a failing one
Supporting your own wellbeing
Parenting or caring for a young person with mental health difficulties is emotionally demanding. You need support too:
- Talk to other parents or carers — shared experience reduces isolation
- Do not neglect your own mental health. You cannot support effectively if you are running on empty
- Consider family therapy — it benefits the whole household, not just the young person
- Be kind to yourself. There is no perfect way to handle this, and the fact that you are trying matters enormously
If your family needs support navigating a young person’s mental health, Amity Foundation is here to help — with compassion, expertise, and patience.
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